The Spirit

I've been thinking lately more about prayer and I have been reflecting on my study on prayer. It was a very long study (so long I didn't finish it). But this helps you get to know me better as a person.

When it comes to studying something on my own or doing research I go all out. I like to find all the possible information (that is worthy) about the thing i am researching and once I have gathered it all I evaluate it. I am the same with online comparison shopping. I will find many many options for one particular type of item that i want; I like to know my options and I like to find the best one. With this prayer study I found a lot of verses about prayer, because I wanted to find out how prayer is used in the Bible so that I would be able to use prayer better. I found a lot of great verses but i discovered in my research (b4 i started to write the study) that prayer is used for everything. I probably should have stopped there, but because of my personality I decided to press forward. I am glad I gathered all those verses about prayer so I can refer to them later. But if you asked me, "what did you learn from doing you study on prayer in your blog?" I could give you a good answer but not an answer that I would be able to implement in my daily life. And that was the purpose of it - to see how prayer is used in the Bible so that I would be able to pray better.

I do not count it all as lost. I learned a lot. But through my personal time with God and in my prayer life. I have grown to use prayer in the way that it should be - through the Spirit.

Romans 8:26 In the same way the Spirit also comes to help us, weak as we are. For we do not know how we ought to pray; the Spirit himself pleads with God for us in groans that words cannot express. 27 And God, who sees into our hearts, knows what the thought of the Spirit is; because the Spirit pleads with God on behalf of his people and in accordance with his will.

A couple times recently I have been able to pray through the Spirit. And I say I have been able to because to pray like that I have to be void of myself - and that's not an easy task. But its beautiful. I reason why it is so beautiful is because there is passion. When I prayed I was praying about other people and the reason why it was special was because I had compassion for the people I was praying for. I had that compassion by the way of the Holy Spirit. My heart ached for the people I was praying for. When I am not in the Spirit when I pray it can sometimes be as if I were going to God as if God was Santa and I was sitting on his lap saying "God I really want that person to be saved. Please break them of their sin and remove the rebellion." ---I was just asking, in a normal emotional state. When I pray in the Spirit I am emotional. I am crying and yearning in my voice. Another thing to note is that both times when I have prayed in the Spirit I was praying out loud. [if some of you are wondering how do I get the Holy Spirit and how to I let him flow through my prayers I will talk about that another time]

That is my experiences with praying in the Spirit. What are yours?

I am sharing this with you because I want to acknowledge the importance of the Holy Spirit in prayer, and I think the best way to show someone how to do something is by example.

Now I want to contrast the two different approaches that I have taken to this prayer study.
The first time I was very methodological about it. I did research and studied the scripture looking for an answer. There was a lot of insight in it, but how do you take that and personalize it. How do you learn from that and apply it when you are praying? The answers that i came across through that way may be helpful. But I think it just filtered as head knowledge.
This time I approaching it from a different way. I coming to the heart of the matter. What does God want from us when we pray. He wants us to give Him our heart. He wants us to pour our heart out. So that he will be there to comfort you. Also When you ask for something and you show how much it means to you through your emotions are you not more likely to get your request, than if you asked without emotion?

I challenge you to let your heart spill at the altar of the Lord.

Jehovah Jireh

I wanted to take a break from the prayer study. Because it is such a long study with many verses, I thought a break would be good. I'm the kind of person who gets an idea and runs with it and is organizes it well but I don't necessarily realize how the end product might turn out. I'm beginning that is how the study on pray might be turning out to be like. I got a lot of verses about prayer and am discussing them, but I'm not sure how productive the study has been hopefully by the end of it I will be able to incorporate the many verses into a large conclusion statement.

But In the mean time I wanted to share a psalm that I wrote.


Jehovah Jireh means the Lord will provide.

God the way you work is amazing. I am so thankful that you gift us with so many blessings.
You are my Lord.
You are my Lover.
You are my Savior and redeemer.
You are my Sustainer.
You are my Provider.

You provide all things.
You provide time.
You Provide life;
And breath for me to live.
You provide everything.

You provide peace.
You provide knowledge.
You provide in me a sound mind.
You provide friends for me.

You provide opportunities.
You provide jobs.
You provide money and food.
You provide a dwelling place for me.

You provide all my happiness.

God you are the provider - Jehovah Jireh.
You Are.
You are called I am - Ehyeh.
And you always will be.

Worship in Spirit and Truth

God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth. John 4:24

I have heard this verse many times before, but often times when this scripture is quoted we forget the "God is spirit" part. I noticed it in a new way, it is telling us that we must worship in spirit and truth, because God is spirit. Almost like another language, or species. Just like we can't communicate with animals, because we aren't their species. We can't communicate with God unless we are speaking his language.

Spirit is such an abstract thing sometimes, so I wanted to see how it is defined. Answers.com's first definition of spirit is: The vital principle or animating force within living beings, also our soul. Spirit is our animating force, what gives us life, and allows us to move. Without it we are simply like any stationary object. From that I would say that verse would mean that we are supposed to worship God with our whole life, with everything that is in us.

I pray that the Holy Spirit would guide you in your times of worship, that you would learn to worship will all that is in you. - in spirit and in truth. That you may realize the wonder of God's glory and that His glory demands praise and worship.

Truly?

^{John 13: 36}Simon Peter said to Him, "Lord, where are You going?" Jesus answered, "Where I go, you cannot follow Me now; but you will follow later." ³⁷Peter said to Him, "Lord, why can I not follow You right now? I will lay down my life for You." ³⁸Jesus answered, "Will you lay down your life for Me? Truly, truly, I say to you, a rooster will not crow until you deny Me three times.

Different times in my Christian walk I have committed my life over to Christ. I told Jesus that He could do whatever he wanted with my life. But did I really allow him to take control of everything? Was I like Peter who said that he would die for Jesus one day but hen denied Jesus the next day?

An Intimate Relationship

As a child I had a best friend that I spent all my free time with. We would go to each others house every day of the summer. Some times we might do something interesting like play a board game, but other times we would just sit and talk. When we didn't do much of anything it was good just to be with them. I remember when her family would go on vacations and I wouldn't see her for a week, I got so bored, I wanted her home as soon as possible. I wouldn't know what to do with myself, because I did everything with her. As we got older we saw each other less. I no longer spent everyday with her. I might call her once and a while, but only long enough to see how she was doing - nothing too deep. It got to the point to where years would pass between talking. It was strange that I was no longer friends with a person whom I was so close to. It's not as if the opportunity wasn't there to continue the friendship. We only lived a few miles apart. I could have easily have became friends with her again if I cared to; if I would have called her, visited her, wrote her, anything.
A lot of times that is how our relationship with God can be like.

In the past couple of months the Holy Spirit has been telling me I need to spend more time with God.
It's as if He is like "Why havn't you called its been 3 weeks. We havn't hang out in awhile. Will you ever have enough time for me?"

The Holy Spirit has spoken this same message to me through many ways and people, and given me many helpful analogies. One pastor said If we treated our friends like we treated God we wouldn't have any friends (like my story above). Another pastor of mine said that he would go on adventures with the Holy Trinity, he would hike the woods and when he would rest in a spot he made 4 places to sit one for each: himself for the Holy Spirit, God and Jesus. Physically putting a chair out for them showing explicitly that they are there.

With any relationship you have to talk to the person relatively frequently. But with an intimate relationship you would need to communicate even more - usually daily and sometimes talking hours at a time. I can think back with my boyfriends, talking to them for an hour was a regular amount of time, and I would try to see them everyday and if not, I would see them at least once a week.

Why is it that I struggle to spend time with God for even 15 min a day, or every other day. It simply doesn't make since. God is holy of holy, all powerful, creator of the universe and I don't want to spend time with Him? That would be like having Albert Einstein at your disposal all the time and ignoring him. Most people would want to be around him if they wanted to try and learn all that they could from the world's most renowned genius. But there are many reasons why a person wouldn't care to spend time with Einstein.They might not know that Einstein was a genius - or they knew that people thought he was a genuis but they thought he was dumb and his discoveries were false. Or maybe that person knows Einstein is really famous and smart, but something else is more appealing to them. They might find it more interesting to play a video game or watch a movie than talk to Einstein. Those same reasons could be why we don't spend time with God.

I also find myself feeling that I don't care to spend time with God. I know God is special, and deserves attention, but I don't think I realize it in my heart. This could be because a lack of knowlege of who God is and what He did, why He did it, and how it changed our lives. Just as if someone heard about the many scientific breakthroughs Einstein had but since they only know that Einstein created the equation E=mc^2 but don't know why that equation is important, or how it effects our daily lives; then the equation is just numbers and letters. We have to learn that God created the universe in an exquisite working manner, and also came to Earth as a human, healed many, died and ressureced by which our sins were washed away and enabled us to be made pure so that we would be able to be in the presence of God. Look at the ways in which God has affected your life. Now think of those same thing but instead of God imagine a person doing those things. If you knew a person like that wouldn't you want to spend all of your time with them?

Often times, Instead of spending time with God I tend to want to do other things. When I have free time I have the defalt desire to spend it browsing the internet. I need to realize the magnificence of God, so that everything else would be pale in comparison. I have to change what I value. I need to value spending time with God more than anything else. I want to be going through the day thirsting, thinking, "when will I be able to talk to you God, when will this day finally be over so we can have some alone time," instead of "the next free minute I have I'm checking facebook". I don't want it to be a chore to spend time with God, but right now it kinda feels that way. It makes it a struggle. Just like chores I do - it's just because I was told to, if I ever manage to fit it in my day to spend time with God I'm not delighting in it, it is dry and empty. It's discouraging to think that I will never get to that point of intimacy. Where I feel like I am one with God and I can feel his presence and I can hear his voice. I don't know maybe I have to go through quiet times where I don't get anything out of it before I can be at one with God.

My prayer is that I (and anyone who struggles with this) would seek God with all their heart, because as scripture says when we do we will find God. That we would value time spent with God above time doing anything else. That we would have a greater realization of His glory, his power, his majesty so that we may worship Him in truth and realize how worthy He is and that we would develop a reverence that drives us to take advantage of God's invitation to spend time together. That we would not get discouraged when we don't feel like we are getting anything out of our time with God, but that we would persevere and have faith that we are growing and strengenthening through this time and that there will be better times in the future.

Disconnected

I feel disconnected from God. I feel an inability to create an intimate relationship. I feel discouraged. Please keep me in your prayers.


Follow up: (09/4/09)
God has shown me a few times. If I want to have that intimate relationship. I have to put in the time and effort. He has shown me what I need to do, and is basically like 'this is what you need to do, go do it'. Which makes me feel worse because it is my responsibility, and makes me feel like a terrible person that I don't spend time with God to create that relationship. So continue to pray for me about that. So that I would have the desire to spend time with God, that it would be something that I look forward to rather than something I see as a requirement like chores or a hw assignment.
more about this in my post 'an intimate relationship'

Relationships

I just want to put this in writing, so as to make my decision more permanent.
Just to give you a little back history, I have been through my fair share of relationships. Relationships have been for me an easy way for Satan to lead me astray. It has been something I have struggled with for 5 years, and I have finally come to the breaking point where enough is enough. I know I am being vague but I don't feel like writing my whole life story here. If you are interested it hearing it you can contact me personally (alyse2232@yahoo.com). With that said, I have acquired a new way of viewing relationships with the help of  Bible study through the book Love Notes: A biblical look on love by Ryan Dalgliesh. See a review of the book here.

My new outlook:

*Relationships NEED to be God centered.
Ryan Dalgliesh in his book Love Notes: a biblical look at love said:

"The true measure of a relationship focused on God comes after the date, or phone call. Women, if after the date you find yourself wanting to know God better because of the guy you were with, and men if after the date you find yourself wanting to know God better because of the girl you were with, then you have a God centered relationship."

*Dating is to find your spouse
If I'm not ready to prepare for marriage, then I'm not going to get in a relationship. This is going to be hard for me if/when an opportunity arises and I am not ready for marriage. It's just that being in a relationship when I am not ready to get married is like setting up an event years in advance. It wont work out. All the decorations will fall apart and you will be left there waiting with nothing to do. And when you have nothing to do, you find something to do and that usually leads to trouble, try leaving a couple of kids in a room by themselves - they will eventually tear the place apart and probably tear each other apart.

*Date what you want to marry
Since dating is to find my spouse then if there is something about the person I am dating that is not up to my standards (if they do not have my same beliefs or morals) then I shouldn't be dating them, Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? - 2Co 6:14 ESV. This is something I have always struggled with too - having standards. In the past I have always just accepted what has come my way. But I deserve better than that. God wants the best for me, so I should want the best for me. Some of you might think it is wrong to just drop someone because they don't fit your mold, but the truth of the matter is that you won't be able to change a person. So for I need to be dating the type of man that would be well suited to be my partner for life, because its not like I can just pick any ol' guy and think that I can make him into the man I want. It doesn't work that way. The Holy Spirit needs to be molding the man, not me.

*As a woman I should be sought after
What I mean is the guy should be asking the girl out not the other way around. If you look though out the bible you will usually see the man going after the girl. This has been a problem for me in the past too. If I liked a guy I would ask him out. Song of Solomon shows this at its best. Love Notes breaks down Song of Solomon showing this point clearly. I would encourage you to buy that book if anything I am saying interests you and you want to know more. I need to learn to be patient and wait for a guy to come for me. One of the main points in Song of Solomon is that you should not awaken love until it is ready. A man will come after a woman when he is ready for a relationship. I have been rejected before because the guy was not ready for a relationship. The timing was not right, he was not done with college and did not have a job. A woman can, however, be proactive by presenting herself as a pure modest woman who is ready to receive a man, but should not pursue a man. Men like the chase, and women like to respond.

*Intimacy is reserved for marriage
We all have heard this, but still is the biggest struggle (at least for me). With my past mistakes I have come to the conclusion that anything other than holding hands means you are in a danger zone. So beware. Also intimacy is not only physical, sharing your self with another person as in telling them about yourself is emotional intimacy. The level of intimacy should me matched by the the level of commitment.


So that is the backbone of my view of relationships now. I hope it can help you.
With God's help I will defeat the hold (update: I have defeated this stronghold!) that Satan has on me through relationships. so that my relationships may be (are and will be) able to glorify God rather than put Him to shame.

Holy Spirit

Lately I have been shown more and more about the how the Holy Spirit is working people's lives today. I have heard about healing, speaking in tongues, baptism in the Holy Spirit, the fruits of the Holy Spirit. I have heard about it from many different sources over the past couple of weeks. It has really given me the desire to see the Holy Spirit working in my life and in the lives of those around me. It has become aware to me, though I haven't been able to take it to heart, that healing, speaking in tongues and such are supposed to be a normal part of being a christian. It is overlooked so much, but it is very vital, as it is these things that make up the body of Christ, and is how His work is done. But I need to fully understand what is said in 1cor ch 12, that there are different types of gifts and that they are all important. Though some spiritual gifts are more glamorous the other gifts should not be discredited.

1Co 12:1-31 GNB(1) Now, concerning what you wrote about the gifts from the Holy Spirit. I want you to know the truth about them, my friends.(2) You know that while you were still heathen, you were led astray in many ways to the worship of lifeless idols.(3) I want you to know that no one who is led by God's Spirit can say "A curse on Jesus!" and no one can confess "Jesus is Lord," without being guided by the Holy Spirit.(4) There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit gives them.(5) There are different ways of serving, but the same Lord is served.(6) There are different abilities to perform service, but the same God gives ability to all for their particular service.(7) The Spirit's presence is shown in some way in each person for the good of all.(8) The Spirit gives one person a message full of wisdom, while to another person the same Spirit gives a message full of knowledge.(9) One and the same Spirit gives faith to one person, while to another person he gives the power to heal.(10) The Spirit gives one person the power to work miracles; to another, the gift of speaking God's message; and to yet another, the ability to tell the difference between gifts that come from the Spirit and those that do not. To one person he gives the ability to speak in strange tongues, and to another he gives the ability to explain what is said.(11) But it is one and the same Spirit who does all this; as he wishes, he gives a different gift to each person.(12) Christ is like a single body, which has many parts; it is still one body, even though it is made up of different parts.(13) In the same way, all of us, whether Jews or Gentiles, whether slaves or free, have been baptized into the one body by the same Spirit, and we have all been given the one Spirit to drink.(14) For the body itself is not made up of only one part, but of many parts.(15) If the foot were to say, "Because I am not a hand, I don't belong to the body," that would not keep it from being a part of the body.(16) And if the ear were to say, "Because I am not an eye, I don't belong to the body," that would not keep it from being a part of the body.(17) If the whole body were just an eye, how could it hear? And if it were only an ear, how could it smell?(18) As it is, however, God put every different part in the body just as he wanted it to be.(19) There would not be a body if it were all only one part!(20) As it is, there are many parts but one body.(21) So then, the eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" Nor can the head say to the feet, "Well, I don't need you!"(22) On the contrary, we cannot do without the parts of the body that seem to be weaker;(23) and those parts that we think aren't worth very much are the ones which we treat with greater care; while the parts of the body which don't look very nice are treated with special modesty,(24) which the more beautiful parts do not need. God himself has put the body together in such a way as to give greater honor to those parts that need it.(25) And so there is no division in the body, but all its different parts have the same concern for one another.(26) If one part of the body suffers, all the other parts suffer with it; if one part is praised, all the other parts share its happiness.(27) All of you are Christ's body, and each one is a part of it.(28) In the church God has put all in place: in the first place apostles, in the second place prophets, and in the third place teachers; then those who perform miracles, followed by those who are given the power to heal or to help others or to direct them or to speak in strange tongues.(29) They are not all apostles or prophets or teachers. Not everyone has the power to work miracles(30) or to heal diseases or to speak in strange tongues or to explain what is said.(31) Set your hearts, then, on the more important gifts. Best of all, however, is the following way.(and he goes on to talk about love in ch13)

So then, as I am yearning for the Holy Spirit to manifest in my life, I shouldn't get discouraged and realize that the gifts that I have may not be healing or speaking or tongues, but that it may be faith or speaking, so I should look for those gifts too. Remember that as a child of God we all are given a gift of the spirit (v11), so I encourage you to find out what your gift is so that you can use it more often.

Well you ask, how do I receive these gifts?

(Luk 11:13 ESV) If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

Wow its that simple? All we have to do is ask.

I am also going to be praying that it would be clear to me which gift I have, and to remove any preconceived notions that would make me think it was something different.

All or nothing

It's becoming clearer to me that with Jesus it is all or noting.

Mat 12:30 ESV(30) Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.

Luk 9:23 ESV(23) And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

Rev 3:15-16 GNB(15) I know what you have done; I know that you are neither cold nor hot. How I wish you were either one or the other!(16) But because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I am going to spit you out of my mouth!

1Co 10:21 ESV You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons. You cannot partake of the table of the Lord and the table of demons.

Mat 6:24 ESV "No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money."

Jesus wants our whole being. Our whole life, that's what it means to take up your cross- the cross symbolized dying - dying to our old self. Jesus says to do this daily. It is really hard to imagine the fullness of that statement. The song "getting into you" by relientK explains it quite well, when they say "do you know what you are getting yourself into?" I have committed my life to Jesus, but there is probably parts of my life that I still have that I would have a hard time giving up. If it was God's plan for me to never get married, would I be okay with that? There is such magnitude when you give your life up. But, just as the disciples did, we need to give up our lives and follow Jesus. They dropped their fishing poles and left their families and followed Jesus. That would be the same as if someone who is who has a successful job decides to quit and become a missionary. But when we make that sacrifice it just opens up the opportunity for God to work in our lives more than we could imagine, and certainly better than we could ever do on our own. The disciples all went on to be such strong leaders. We can do the same if we let God take over.

'Whoever does not gather with me scatters.' This was convicting to me. Jesus is saying if I am not bringing people to Him then I am basically pushing people away from Him. That is the last thing I want to do. So I need to make it a point to spread the Gospel. But I find this so hard to do in a regular day setting. It's such a serious subject, which makes it more important to talk about, but how do you incorporate that in conversation? Some say that by the way we live we can spread the Gospel. "My Father's glory is shown by your bearing much fruit; and in this way you become my disciples." (John 15:8) Can you see fruits of the spirit in your life daily? "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." (Gal 5:22-23) But is that enough? "Everyone will know that you are my disciples because of your love for each other." (John13:35)

My prayer is that God would reveal to me the things that are keeping me from him - things that I have not given up. And that God would train me so that I would be able to talk to others about Jesus with ease.

The Room - An Amazing Story of The Gospel

The Room

17 year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. "I wowed 'em," he later told his father, Bruce. "It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the best thing I ever wrote." It also was the last.

Brian's parents had forgotten about the essay when a cousin found it while cleaning out the teenager's locker at Teays Valley High School in Pickaway County. Brian had been dead only hours, but his parents desperately wanted every piece of his life near them such as notes from classmates and teachers and his homework.

Only two months before, he had handwritten the essay about encountering Jesus in a file room full of cards detailing every moment of the teen's life. But it was only after Brian's death that Beth and Bruce Moore realized that their son had described his view of heaven. "It makes such an impact that people want to share it. You feel like you are there." Mr. Moore said.

Brian Moore died Tuesday, May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted. The Moores framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. "I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it." Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death. "I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him."

Brian's Essay:
The Room

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order.

But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I Have Liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I Have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed At." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've Yelled At My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done In My Anger," "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath At My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I Have Watched," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke in me. One thought dominated my mind, "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared The Gospel With."

The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand. And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No! No!" as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.



"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:13

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." - John 3:16

"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast." - Ephesians 2:8-9


Dear Savior, Thank you so much for signing your name on my cards, so I wouldn't have to take the blame for them. Thank you for paying the price for my sins and making me clean so that I may have everlasting life. I am sorry for what I have done. Please give me strength everyday to live a life without sin. Amen


This is from the site: http://www.starburst2005.com/christian/001.html

What is [Yahweh's] God's Will?

How do we know what the Will of Yah (God) is for our lives?
In college I was asking this question, mostly thinking about what does He want me to do with my life? What major, what friends/relationship to have, what job to take? It was always confusing to me to know if I was doing what Yahweh wanted for me in my life. I expected there to be this voice from above telling me to do (this). But then I looked at the scripture and really studied what the Will of Yah (God) is. And it is much more simple than you would think. 

Definition of will>#1 The mental faculty by which one deliberately chooses or decides upon a course of action #3 A desire, purpose, or determination, especially of one in authority (answers.com) Rom 12:2 "Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God---what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect."

• In order to know the will of God we need to view things differently than the world
• We need to view things the way God views them
• --for example the world views adultery as a married person sleeping with another person but as we know God views adultery differently: Mat 5:28 "But I can guarantee that whoever looks with lust at a woman has already committed adultery in his heart."
• --Luk 6:27-30 "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, (28) bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you. (29) If anyone hits you on one cheek, let him hit the other one too; if someone takes your coat, let him have your shirt as well. (30) Give to everyone who asks you for something, and when someone takes what is yours, do not ask for it back.
• ---How different that is from how the world acts. Jesus tells us to do pretty much the opposite of what we would normally think to do. That means every beggar that asks me for something according to Jesus I am obligated to give them what they ask for. And the book I let my friend borrow - i shouldn't ask for it back. I still long to have it back even though they borrowed it 2 years ago.
• --Eph 6:5-7 ESV Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, (6) not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, (7) rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man,
• ---This would mean that doing the will of God would be serving our human masters as if we are serving God. So, I can do God's will by serving my boss at work as if i were serving God. The passage describes what that type of serving looks like - fearing the boss, working from the heart, working good even when no one is looking, trying to please God not people (which is a higher standard)
• --1Pe 2:15 For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. 
•  In the latter part of 1Tessalonians Paul gives a lot of direction on how God wants us to act (1Th 4:1)
• --1Th 4:3-4 ESV For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; (4) that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor,
• --1Th 4:3 clearly states that the will of God is to make us holy, and even more explicitly to abstain from sexual immorality - pointing out this specific sin shows how detrimental it is. So if I am to follow God's will I need to do everything that would make me more holy or sanctified
• ---How are we made holy? We are cleansed by the blood of Jesus. Rom 1:17 "For therein is the righteousness (holiness) of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith." - with our faith in Jesus we are made holy and through continued faith we are cleansed more (because of course we get dirty)
• ----faith can be defined as belief, trust, devotion to (deep love or commitment)
• -----Christ told us to love him is to obey his commandments (John 14:21)
• --love one another (1Th 4:9-10)
• --1Th 4:11 Also, make it your goal to live quietly, do your work, and earn your own living, as we ordered you.
• ---encourage and build one another up (5:11)
• 1Th 5:12 Brothers and sisters, we ask you to show your appreciation for those leaders who work among you and instruct you.
• 1Th 5:14 We encourage you, brothers and sisters, to instruct those who are not living right, cheer up those who are discouraged, help the weak, and be patient with everyone.
• 1Th 5:15 See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.
• 1Th 5:16 Be joyful always,
• 1Th 5:17 pray at all times,
• 1Th 5:18 be thankful in all circumstances. This is what God wants from you in your life in union with Christ Jesus.
• 1Th 5:19 Do not restrain the Holy Spirit;
• 1Th 5:20 do not despise inspired messages.
• 1Th 5:21 Put all things to the test: keep what is good
• 1Th 5:22 and avoid every kind of evil.

"And Yahushua answered him, The First of all the commandments is, Hear, Oh Israel, Yahweh is our Elohim, Yahweh is one: And Thou shalt love Yahweh thy Elohim with all thy heart and with all they soul, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:29 RNKJV)

"After all this, there is only one thing to say: Have reverence for God, and obey his commands, because this is all that we were created for." (Ecclesiastes 12:13GNT)

It is simple if you are honoring Yahweh with your life, obeying his commands, and loving Yahweh and your neighbor as yourself you are doing the Will of [God] Yahweh. I used to think you had to be a missionary or something specific related to faith. But the truth is you can Honor Yahweh in whatever job or endeavor your choose to do. You will have opportunities to share about the faith no matter what you are doing. 

That was what I found in the Bible related to the will of God, but I found a great website that tells more about God's will click here to go to that site.