Not feeling it.

I believe I am in a rut. I missed church for almost a month. I haven't really been praying on my own. or reading the bible on my own. It is just kind of barren right now.

1O יהוה, hear my prayer, And let my cry come to You.

2Do not hide Your face from me In the day of my distress; Incline Your ear to me; In the day I call, answer me speedily.

3For my days are consumed like smoke, And my bones are burned like a hearth.

4My heart is stricken and withered like grass, For I have forgotten to eat my bread.

5Because of the sound of my sighing My bones have cleaved to my flesh.

6I have been like a pelican of the wilderness, I have been like an owl of the desert.

7I have watched, and I am As a bird alone on the house-top.

...

16For יהוה shall build up Tsiyon, He shall appear in His esteem.

17He shall turn unto the prayer of the destitute, And He shall not despise their prayer.

I look back at the post I made on Nov 16. 2009 about the Spirit and it ironic, because it reflects exactly how I feel now. Although it was good for me to go back into the study in prayer, I was lacking the Rouch Quodesh (Spirit) while I was doing it. There are two sides of me very methodological, and then a very spiritual side any other time its just blank. When I am methodological I can sometimes miss the spirit behind it and get caught up in the doing. It is a great state of mind for learning,  but can be lacking in spiritual matters. It is also like reading a diet book, you can read as many diet books as you want, but unless you actually follow the diet and change what you eat it is all just knowledge that doesn't help.

Next I need to really hunker down and get active in my spiritual life. I need to pray and read scripture in a way that applies it to my life.