Breakthrough!

HaleuYAH! I had a breakthrough!

I was able to have a spiritual prayer. A two way conversation, where I was able to hear from Yahweh and talk back. :-)

I also had a revelation from Luke ch 1.
The chapter is about Zeḵaryah and Elisheḇa

7And they had no child, because Elisheḇa was barren, and both were advanced in years.

The angel Gaḇri’ĕl appears to Zeḵaryah and says his wife will have a son and his name will be Yoḥanan (John). Zeḵaryah did not believe it would happen so the angel caused Zeḵaryah to become mute.
Then the angel Gaḇri’ĕl appears to Marry and foretells the birth of Yahushua.

31“And see, you shall conceive in your womb, and shall give birth to a Son, and call His Name יהושע.a

 Once Yoḥanan is born everyone is amazed. Especially when Zeḵaryah can speak again and prophesied.

The story is about miracles. It is about one man not believing in a miracle, yet it happens.
I have bipolar disorder and what I get from this story is that a miracle can happen and I can be cured of bipolar disorder and one day I will not have to be on medication. I do not know what that will look like. I might be using a natural remedy or I may just learn to manage my symptoms very well, but however it will come to happen I believe It will come to pass.

I do not think it will happen right away. I believe there is a season in my life for which I need to be on medication. That season is now. Since I was diagnosed at age of 14 I have been on medication, and I have been very stable on the medication (albeit some hiccups). I have been successful in my education, being awarded both a high school diploma and a bachelors of science in psychology with a minor in art. And I am currently applying to attend school to seek my masters in counseling. I believe there is a career for me in counseling and I believe I could possibly make a mark in the field of psychology pertaining bipolar disorder. But to accomplish those things I need to be stable. And right now being stable means taking my medication and sleeping properly. This is my testimony for the season: being stable on bipolar meds and having an accomplished career.

I expect there will be a day when I will be able to have the testimony of being off medication and living life to the fullest in honor of Yahweh. Living as a clean vessel as He created me.

12:1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of , that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, set-apart, acceptable unto , which is your reasonable service.
12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of .

 

Not feeling it.

I believe I am in a rut. I missed church for almost a month. I haven't really been praying on my own. or reading the bible on my own. It is just kind of barren right now.

1O יהוה, hear my prayer, And let my cry come to You.

2Do not hide Your face from me In the day of my distress; Incline Your ear to me; In the day I call, answer me speedily.

3For my days are consumed like smoke, And my bones are burned like a hearth.

4My heart is stricken and withered like grass, For I have forgotten to eat my bread.

5Because of the sound of my sighing My bones have cleaved to my flesh.

6I have been like a pelican of the wilderness, I have been like an owl of the desert.

7I have watched, and I am As a bird alone on the house-top.

...

16For יהוה shall build up Tsiyon, He shall appear in His esteem.

17He shall turn unto the prayer of the destitute, And He shall not despise their prayer.

I look back at the post I made on Nov 16. 2009 about the Spirit and it ironic, because it reflects exactly how I feel now. Although it was good for me to go back into the study in prayer, I was lacking the Rouch Quodesh (Spirit) while I was doing it. There are two sides of me very methodological, and then a very spiritual side any other time its just blank. When I am methodological I can sometimes miss the spirit behind it and get caught up in the doing. It is a great state of mind for learning,  but can be lacking in spiritual matters. It is also like reading a diet book, you can read as many diet books as you want, but unless you actually follow the diet and change what you eat it is all just knowledge that doesn't help.

Next I need to really hunker down and get active in my spiritual life. I need to pray and read scripture in a way that applies it to my life.