Relationships

I just want to put this in writing, so as to make my decision more permanent.
Just to give you a little back history, I have been through my fair share of relationships. Relationships have been for me an easy way for Satan to lead me astray. It has been something I have struggled with for 5 years, and I have finally come to the breaking point where enough is enough. I know I am being vague but I don't feel like writing my whole life story here. If you are interested it hearing it you can contact me personally (alyse2232@yahoo.com). With that said, I have acquired a new way of viewing relationships with the help of  Bible study through the book Love Notes: A biblical look on love by Ryan Dalgliesh. See a review of the book here.

My new outlook:

*Relationships NEED to be God centered.
Ryan Dalgliesh in his book Love Notes: a biblical look at love said:

"The true measure of a relationship focused on God comes after the date, or phone call. Women, if after the date you find yourself wanting to know God better because of the guy you were with, and men if after the date you find yourself wanting to know God better because of the girl you were with, then you have a God centered relationship."

*Dating is to find your spouse
If I'm not ready to prepare for marriage, then I'm not going to get in a relationship. This is going to be hard for me if/when an opportunity arises and I am not ready for marriage. It's just that being in a relationship when I am not ready to get married is like setting up an event years in advance. It wont work out. All the decorations will fall apart and you will be left there waiting with nothing to do. And when you have nothing to do, you find something to do and that usually leads to trouble, try leaving a couple of kids in a room by themselves - they will eventually tear the place apart and probably tear each other apart.

*Date what you want to marry
Since dating is to find my spouse then if there is something about the person I am dating that is not up to my standards (if they do not have my same beliefs or morals) then I shouldn't be dating them, Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? - 2Co 6:14 ESV. This is something I have always struggled with too - having standards. In the past I have always just accepted what has come my way. But I deserve better than that. God wants the best for me, so I should want the best for me. Some of you might think it is wrong to just drop someone because they don't fit your mold, but the truth of the matter is that you won't be able to change a person. So for I need to be dating the type of man that would be well suited to be my partner for life, because its not like I can just pick any ol' guy and think that I can make him into the man I want. It doesn't work that way. The Holy Spirit needs to be molding the man, not me.

*As a woman I should be sought after
What I mean is the guy should be asking the girl out not the other way around. If you look though out the bible you will usually see the man going after the girl. This has been a problem for me in the past too. If I liked a guy I would ask him out. Song of Solomon shows this at its best. Love Notes breaks down Song of Solomon showing this point clearly. I would encourage you to buy that book if anything I am saying interests you and you want to know more. I need to learn to be patient and wait for a guy to come for me. One of the main points in Song of Solomon is that you should not awaken love until it is ready. A man will come after a woman when he is ready for a relationship. I have been rejected before because the guy was not ready for a relationship. The timing was not right, he was not done with college and did not have a job. A woman can, however, be proactive by presenting herself as a pure modest woman who is ready to receive a man, but should not pursue a man. Men like the chase, and women like to respond.

*Intimacy is reserved for marriage
We all have heard this, but still is the biggest struggle (at least for me). With my past mistakes I have come to the conclusion that anything other than holding hands means you are in a danger zone. So beware. Also intimacy is not only physical, sharing your self with another person as in telling them about yourself is emotional intimacy. The level of intimacy should me matched by the the level of commitment.


So that is the backbone of my view of relationships now. I hope it can help you.
With God's help I will defeat the hold (update: I have defeated this stronghold!) that Satan has on me through relationships. so that my relationships may be (are and will be) able to glorify God rather than put Him to shame.

Holy Spirit

Lately I have been shown more and more about the how the Holy Spirit is working people's lives today. I have heard about healing, speaking in tongues, baptism in the Holy Spirit, the fruits of the Holy Spirit. I have heard about it from many different sources over the past couple of weeks. It has really given me the desire to see the Holy Spirit working in my life and in the lives of those around me. It has become aware to me, though I haven't been able to take it to heart, that healing, speaking in tongues and such are supposed to be a normal part of being a christian. It is overlooked so much, but it is very vital, as it is these things that make up the body of Christ, and is how His work is done. But I need to fully understand what is said in 1cor ch 12, that there are different types of gifts and that they are all important. Though some spiritual gifts are more glamorous the other gifts should not be discredited.

1Co 12:1-31 GNB(1) Now, concerning what you wrote about the gifts from the Holy Spirit. I want you to know the truth about them, my friends.(2) You know that while you were still heathen, you were led astray in many ways to the worship of lifeless idols.(3) I want you to know that no one who is led by God's Spirit can say "A curse on Jesus!" and no one can confess "Jesus is Lord," without being guided by the Holy Spirit.(4) There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit gives them.(5) There are different ways of serving, but the same Lord is served.(6) There are different abilities to perform service, but the same God gives ability to all for their particular service.(7) The Spirit's presence is shown in some way in each person for the good of all.(8) The Spirit gives one person a message full of wisdom, while to another person the same Spirit gives a message full of knowledge.(9) One and the same Spirit gives faith to one person, while to another person he gives the power to heal.(10) The Spirit gives one person the power to work miracles; to another, the gift of speaking God's message; and to yet another, the ability to tell the difference between gifts that come from the Spirit and those that do not. To one person he gives the ability to speak in strange tongues, and to another he gives the ability to explain what is said.(11) But it is one and the same Spirit who does all this; as he wishes, he gives a different gift to each person.(12) Christ is like a single body, which has many parts; it is still one body, even though it is made up of different parts.(13) In the same way, all of us, whether Jews or Gentiles, whether slaves or free, have been baptized into the one body by the same Spirit, and we have all been given the one Spirit to drink.(14) For the body itself is not made up of only one part, but of many parts.(15) If the foot were to say, "Because I am not a hand, I don't belong to the body," that would not keep it from being a part of the body.(16) And if the ear were to say, "Because I am not an eye, I don't belong to the body," that would not keep it from being a part of the body.(17) If the whole body were just an eye, how could it hear? And if it were only an ear, how could it smell?(18) As it is, however, God put every different part in the body just as he wanted it to be.(19) There would not be a body if it were all only one part!(20) As it is, there are many parts but one body.(21) So then, the eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" Nor can the head say to the feet, "Well, I don't need you!"(22) On the contrary, we cannot do without the parts of the body that seem to be weaker;(23) and those parts that we think aren't worth very much are the ones which we treat with greater care; while the parts of the body which don't look very nice are treated with special modesty,(24) which the more beautiful parts do not need. God himself has put the body together in such a way as to give greater honor to those parts that need it.(25) And so there is no division in the body, but all its different parts have the same concern for one another.(26) If one part of the body suffers, all the other parts suffer with it; if one part is praised, all the other parts share its happiness.(27) All of you are Christ's body, and each one is a part of it.(28) In the church God has put all in place: in the first place apostles, in the second place prophets, and in the third place teachers; then those who perform miracles, followed by those who are given the power to heal or to help others or to direct them or to speak in strange tongues.(29) They are not all apostles or prophets or teachers. Not everyone has the power to work miracles(30) or to heal diseases or to speak in strange tongues or to explain what is said.(31) Set your hearts, then, on the more important gifts. Best of all, however, is the following way.(and he goes on to talk about love in ch13)

So then, as I am yearning for the Holy Spirit to manifest in my life, I shouldn't get discouraged and realize that the gifts that I have may not be healing or speaking or tongues, but that it may be faith or speaking, so I should look for those gifts too. Remember that as a child of God we all are given a gift of the spirit (v11), so I encourage you to find out what your gift is so that you can use it more often.

Well you ask, how do I receive these gifts?

(Luk 11:13 ESV) If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

Wow its that simple? All we have to do is ask.

I am also going to be praying that it would be clear to me which gift I have, and to remove any preconceived notions that would make me think it was something different.